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Are you too nice for your own good?

When it comes to people are you a total pushover? there's nothing wrong with being nice but if it's starting to affect your life to the point of you not meeting your own needs then maybe it's time to change!

Welcome to a very different way to curb your enthusiasm for niceness by seeing it differently in order to decide whether it's chronic enough to see a cure.

The following two exercises are the first steps in a movie therapy session that has been designed to help you literally diagnose yourself through the characters of your chosen movie so you can decide whether or not you really are 'too nice for your own good'

So let's get started by choosing the movie you want to work with...

Easier said than done, I hear you say but don't despair, because deep in the back of your mind is a movie that you can already unconsciously take ownership of, maybe it's your favourite movie or a movie that doesn't necessarily spring to mind but you can't help watching it every time it comes on the TV, here's a few tips to help you choose:-

  • There is something about this movie that you truly love in trms of a character plot
  • In contrast there is something about this movie that you may find annoying, that you wish to passionately change, be it world peace or a new way of doing something
  • It evokes emotions for example it makes you laugh, cry, feel angry, jealousy, fear or disgust
  • It evokes reoccurring images or language in your head for example you find yourself quoting phrases from it or remembering a scene when a similar situation happens in your real life
  • It conjures up a sense of powerless or powerful thoughts when watched because of the characters behaviours in other words there is something in the movie that you wish to recreate or avoid at all costs

I hope the above helped, if you have found your choen movie you can now move onto the next step

Guidelines to watching your chosen movie differently...

Sit comfortably, release any tention and strain and allow your breath to become calm and centred and become absorbed in the movie, do not analyse the movie as a critic but pay attention to the story, images and ideas.

Watch the film in a non-judgmental, with curiosity, acceptance and compassion for the characters and observe how their motives and behaviour affect your physical sensations.

After watching the movie, reflect on the following:-

  • Did you remember your feelings and sensations, if so what was involved in the scene? Did it move you in a positive or negative way?
  • Notice what yo like and what you didn't like or even what you hated especially regarding the characters actions in the movie
  • Did you notice whether any of the characters behaviour matched your own or whether particular strengths shown by a character might be useful to yourself?
  • Was there an aspect that was especially hard to watch in the movie?
  • Did anything i the movie touch you, characters, scene or verbal conversation?

You may find it useful to write down your answers to the above.

The guidelines are intended to make you become a better observer, this may affect your enjoyment of the movie and this should be considered when choosing but the reflections from experiencing the movie differently are designed to help you adapt your learning to situations within your own life.

In order to complete the exercise go to the link on and you will be emailed the full version of this session in order to complete your diagnosis.

Thank you for taking part

About the author

Lynn Anderton
Life Coach & Movietherapist

A life coach with a difference, Lynn encourages people to watch movies differently in order to save time, money and energy by learning to interact with others better so that they ultimately meet their own needs and ambitions

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