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What Makes People Lie?

We all do it. But is there a difference between little white lies and huge deceptions?

In this article

Many self-esteem issues may cause people to lie or tell un truths about them selves or others. Lisa explores why we lie when we know we will just get found out in the end.

People generally lie if have something to lose or they lie to protect themselves. Here are some reasons why I think people lie:

  • To protect themselves from mental or physical harm
  • To prevent an argument
  • To prevent punishment
  • To cover up their mistakes and insecurities
  • To get others to like them
  • To save face
  • To make somebody else feel better

It has to be said that I’m not a big fan of dishonesty.

I have a sixth sense that can detect porkie pies at 10 paces. Many people would rather know the truth than be lied to. Lies break trust, without trust, relationships are worth nothing. When I say lies, I’m not talking about the little white lies of ‘You look well or ‘I only ate one mince pie’ or ‘The cat knocked it over!’ I’m talking about big black lies. The whopping great big lies that hurt more than the simple truth.

The Truth Will Always Come Out

My mum says quite frequently ‘Liars always get found out.’ You cannot harbour a lie and expect people not to investigate. In the end, liars trip up and forget what they have told, when and to whom. Their stories don’t add up. They lack detail. They lack authenticity. The liar and the stories.

Where are the Boundaries of Honesty?

Apparently in this day and age, they are quite tricky to define. A recent study claims that most people have stolen stationery from work or kept quiet when given too much change, while some people see nothing wrong in making a car insurance claim for pre-existing damage.

What About People Who Lie to Themselves?

These people will obviously lie to you as they cannot be honest with themselves. You know the type; blame other people, get annoyed and angry when you confront them. They have a knack of twisting everything back on you so they don’t have to go there. That horrible place where they don’t want to face the truth. It hurts them too much. So they’d rather hurt you. Sometimes, they even create a row with you as an avoidance tactic. This is commonly known as denial. It’s exhausting and confusing to be around them. They drain you of your energy and make you doubt yourself at times.

Do you know people who are in denial? Unable toface their fears? Unable to see what is right there in front of them? Afraid to recognise things they could tackle?

Sweeping it All Under the Carpet Won’t Make it Go Away

I joke about this with my friends when we experience people who are what we call ‘living under rugs’. These people have have a whole heap of undealt with stuff hidden under their rugs. In fact, even when these people’s rugs get so cluttered with stuff, they still choose to do nothing about it. Instead, they just skip off to the nearest Carpet Right and buy a new rug to add to their collection. I’d hate to live under a rug. It’s dark and lonely. I’d also imagine it’s quite painful….itchy even!

The truth will set you free!

The job that gets you up at stupid o’clock for you to spend 8 hours a day or more doing something you hate and that doesn’t fulfil you. The relationship that is unhealthy for you. The one that’s zapping you of all your energy and hurting you. It’s probably not fulfilling your needs and eating away at your self esteem but you’d rather be in it, than be alone. That big decision that you’ve been putting off. Telling yourself that it isn’t such a big deal anyway. That cigarette you just smoked convinced that it was relieving you of your stress, when actually you know it is affecting your health. It’s rugtastic behaviour. I do it, you do it. We all do it.

Take a long hard look in the mirror and tell yourself that today is the day you are going to make a decision to be honest about your life and set yourself free.

For one to one confidence and self-esteem advice for you and your child you can speak to Lisa via her Greatvine profile.


You can view the full list of Greatvine experts able to offer support in self-esteem and confidence.

About the author

Lisa Parkes
Child Coach

Lisa’s a child coach who specialises in helping children with self-esteem and self-confidence. Her expertise includes decision making, forming healthy relationships, handling pressure, assertiveness and developing good values and a positive attitude towards life.

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