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You’ve got an emotional stalker

Alexia Leachman is a Personal Brand Coach and Head Trash Liberator. She helps entrepreneurs find their mojo by helping them to clear their ‘head trash’, tell their story, raise their profile, build their digital presence and manage their reputation.

Have you noticed people around you who are constantly stressed out, angry or defensive? No matter what the situation, they always seem to be radiating negativity. Sometimes this can be as a result of a particular event, which is understandable. However, too often people carry negative emotions around with them wherever they are. No matter what's going on, they seem to constantly show anger, stress or anxiety. Even when they’re out with their family having a lovely day out, the elephant will be there. Anger has a habit of seeping out and developing into other malice like criticism, road rage, and impatience

These negative states are incredibly destructive not only to your spirit and sense of self, but to your reputation and personal brand. People will come to refer to you as the stressed / angry / whiney one. You will sap the energy of people around you. Soon they may prefer to avoid you and leave you off invite lists, not a great feeling.We all know people like this, but are you one of them? If you notice yourself leaping to your own defence and coming up with a variety of excuses for your behaviour, then you'll probably find you have some negative emotions. Emotions are very useful; they are a signal that we need to listen. The fear you experience as you approach the edge of the cliff, is warning you of imminent danger. So, it should not be our aim to banish negative emotions, but instead to put them in their place.


Being constantly angry is not healthy. It strains the mind and body, and reduces the impact of what we're saying - people switch off. Just think of the father who’s always angry and shouting, eventually the kids don’t respond to his threats because he ALWAYS shouts. Whereas a father that rarely displays anger, will achieve far more in his angry state as the kids will know that this time dad means it.

So where have these negative emotions come from?

Well, believe it or not there is such a thing as a head trash cycle and it goes something like this: You have your values and when someone crosses them, they can to send you into a negative emotional state. Well, if this pattern is on-going for any length of time, then you’ll have created vast negative energy stores, they are powering these negative emotional states. This stores, after time, will allow you to get into these states all by yourself, without any external triggers. Lucky you! All that practice has paid off!

Now, the fact that you’re reading this means that you have already begun to recognise this and want to evaluate yourself. You might even admit to yourself that, yes, you do have some of these emotional stalkers. This is progress! Once you are recognise that you can start to move forward, and try some alternative behaviour. You may want to uncover what your personal values are and if they can cause a negative reaction if you come across conflicting values or actions. Self awareness is a significant part of a strong personal brand, it may be painful in the short term, but assessing yourself, your emotions, values and triggers will only be a positive in the long term.


You can get individual self-esteem and confidence advice from Alexia via her Greatvine profile.


You can view the full list of Greatvine experts who can offer business coaching advice.

About the author

Alexia Leachman
Head Trash Clearance Specialist & Personal Brand/Reputation Coach

Alexia is a personal brand coach who’s passionate about clearing ‘head trash’. That means helping people deal with things holding them back, such as a negative inner voice and limiting beliefs.

Articles by Alexia Leachman
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